Sometimes in order to move forward you must go back. I don't mean live in the past I mean really try to see how your decisions impacted the lives of others. I seem to be on that kick right now. I don't know why, maybe I am going to die soon, or maybe it simply means I'm just growing up and getting real close to God. I tend to go with the real negative first like dying, but that is just me. I have to work on that, my daughter points that out to me all the time.
I wish I could parent like this when I was younger. I am a "grown up parent" now. I could just kick myself for that. But to be a parent it takes 2 people. And Mike and I were not in the place we are now. We were too wounded and trying to control our own environments. We were too self involved to understand that we were hurting our children. And our children had to suffer, not that they were beaten and abused. They were never asked "WHY" they were acting out, instead they were just punished. And it was so important for Mike and I to be right as "parents" that we forgot that our children were people too.
Our house was one big power struggle. That is how I would say our environment was, but we still loved each other like crazy. I stayed home and was there, but not present. I was always distracted. I used to be a triathlete and after that ended I got sick. It took years for me to recover. I would go to the hospital all the time. The kids would come home from school not knowing if I was going to be home or if Grandma was going to be there. There was never a constant in our house.
No one really ever knew their role. There was always a fear based feeling lingering around. We really didn't want to step up and be the parents, completely. We only parent single-handedly, so our wisdom was never meshed together. I could only parent as much as I was raised with, and same with him. We never came together to be a team in this parenting thing. If we weren't so mad at each other (without even knowing it) we could have had the household we have now.
I could dwell on that, because that is where the devil wants me. But instead I'm going to praise God for what I have here and now!!! I asked God to forgive me for my sins of the past. I have handed over each sin to Jesus who is hanging on the cross just to take on those sins. That is the whole reason Jesus die on the cross! Jesus wants us to hand over our sins to Him while He is on the Cross so we don't have to be burdened with them anymore.
I have asked The Holy Spirit to help me make it right with my family. And you know what?!?! HE IS!! HE IS HELPING ME MAKE IT RIGHT!!! I am still in the process of making it right with each one of my children. I have a lot of things to make right and own. It's humbling and humiliating, and at the same time freeing for everyone involved. But I just give that to God. Love comes through, and you just feel God's Love healing through the humble words you are speaking to your loved one. God is almighty and the mighty Healer. He wants my family healed, so I'm letting Him lead me....
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Monday, May 2, 2016
Who's Really The Babysitter?
I was outside and along comes a beautiful little yellow sparrow with just a touch of black markings on its back. It made me wonder what God was thinking when He created that little guy. What was the meaning of this little yellow sparrow?!?! Or what was God thinking about when He created birds in general? Why in the world I would I even be thinking about this? I have no idea, but before the little birdie showed up I was thinking about the sermon I listened to yesterday.
I want to start by saying I love the church we have been going to for over 5 years. But I see a shift. The church is growing, and growing fast, and I would hate to see our pastor fall from grace. It happened with the church we went to before this one. But that is not what this is about. This is about how birds are "animals" but they cannot be mistaken for any other animal out there. A bird can't be mistaken for a monkey. So why did God make it that way?
The sparrow is a protector, and the color yellow is hope and joy. I will take that! So I looked even more into what the Bible says about birds. All throughout the Bible birds were part of miracles. They were used as teaching tools, along with sacrifices to God, and God even fed His people with quail. Even though He didn't want to.
God wanted to keep His people vegetarians. Israel lived a long time in Egypt and they were eating their food. And that meant Unholy meat. God provided a miracle by providing manna. It was a "bread" and it fell from the sky everyday to provide food for His people. It wasn't enough because of their time as slaves in Egypt and they wanted "meat". So God provided, reluctantly, the least harmful meat. And you know what that was? It was quail! That is a bird! Moses, with love and frustration told them,
"Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today" (Ex. 14:13).
I like the idea of how in some species of birds the mates stay together forever. There is no such thing as divorce. But there is such thing as a cat, unfortunately. But both the male and female bird take care of their babies until they leave the nest. I think our "species" can learn a thing or two from the birds! Each bird knows their responsibility and does it, because if one doesn't their babies will die. I think a part of our children die with divorce, infidelity of parents, alcoholism, addictions, gossipers, and so on. We need to give our children enough to help them survive but not over do it and not under do it. There is a happy medium. It starts with respect.
It also happens when families allow the parents to get their proper roles back. Moms need to be home with their children. Their children will never get the love they need from a stranger...and I don't care if you know the babysitter! It's not YOU!!! A baby, A Child, A Teenager....needs a parent home taking care of them. Children learn manners and responsibility from their parents. And being a parent for 2-3 hours in the evening is not BEING A PARENT! YOU ARE THE BABYSITTER!!! Sorry! But it's true!
Dads need to step up and take care of their families. You don't always "Love" your wife, but you made that commitment to God that said forever. People are so lost now, it makes me sad. When we can take lessons from a bird on how to be a family and be responsible then there is something wrong. Or maybe that is exactly what we need to do!
Maybe we need to look at the mighty eagle. I'm going to leave you with Deuteronomy 32:11-12 the Lord is compared to and eagle. That is a very powerful statement! I want to be an eagle! Don't you?
11“Like an eagle that stirs up its nest,
That hovers over its young,
He spread His wings and caught them,
He carried them on His pinions.
I want to start by saying I love the church we have been going to for over 5 years. But I see a shift. The church is growing, and growing fast, and I would hate to see our pastor fall from grace. It happened with the church we went to before this one. But that is not what this is about. This is about how birds are "animals" but they cannot be mistaken for any other animal out there. A bird can't be mistaken for a monkey. So why did God make it that way?
The sparrow is a protector, and the color yellow is hope and joy. I will take that! So I looked even more into what the Bible says about birds. All throughout the Bible birds were part of miracles. They were used as teaching tools, along with sacrifices to God, and God even fed His people with quail. Even though He didn't want to.
God wanted to keep His people vegetarians. Israel lived a long time in Egypt and they were eating their food. And that meant Unholy meat. God provided a miracle by providing manna. It was a "bread" and it fell from the sky everyday to provide food for His people. It wasn't enough because of their time as slaves in Egypt and they wanted "meat". So God provided, reluctantly, the least harmful meat. And you know what that was? It was quail! That is a bird! Moses, with love and frustration told them,
"Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today" (Ex. 14:13).
I like the idea of how in some species of birds the mates stay together forever. There is no such thing as divorce. But there is such thing as a cat, unfortunately. But both the male and female bird take care of their babies until they leave the nest. I think our "species" can learn a thing or two from the birds! Each bird knows their responsibility and does it, because if one doesn't their babies will die. I think a part of our children die with divorce, infidelity of parents, alcoholism, addictions, gossipers, and so on. We need to give our children enough to help them survive but not over do it and not under do it. There is a happy medium. It starts with respect.
It also happens when families allow the parents to get their proper roles back. Moms need to be home with their children. Their children will never get the love they need from a stranger...and I don't care if you know the babysitter! It's not YOU!!! A baby, A Child, A Teenager....needs a parent home taking care of them. Children learn manners and responsibility from their parents. And being a parent for 2-3 hours in the evening is not BEING A PARENT! YOU ARE THE BABYSITTER!!! Sorry! But it's true!
Dads need to step up and take care of their families. You don't always "Love" your wife, but you made that commitment to God that said forever. People are so lost now, it makes me sad. When we can take lessons from a bird on how to be a family and be responsible then there is something wrong. Or maybe that is exactly what we need to do!
Maybe we need to look at the mighty eagle. I'm going to leave you with Deuteronomy 32:11-12 the Lord is compared to and eagle. That is a very powerful statement! I want to be an eagle! Don't you?
11“Like an eagle that stirs up its nest,
That hovers over its young,
He spread His wings and caught them,
He carried them on His pinions.
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