Calmness Creates Chaos

It's been awhile since I've posted. It isn't because I don't have anything to say. Just the opposite actually. It's because my youngest daughter overdosed. It was a suicide attempt by overdosing on my anxiety pills. Luckily for us I'm on Hydroxozine, which is basically Bendryal, and she was unable to overdose on that particular drug.

This has been a much awakening in our family. It was painful leading up to it, and it was devastating going through it, but we have felt comfort in our healing through God. The healing that Mike and I have experienced and are still experiencing through God and therapy is creating a calmness among my family. And within this new calmness a chaos has developed within our children. I don't want to say that our house was full of fighting and hate, it wasn't. We love each other, and are very close to one another. But there was a lack of respect for one another on everyone's part. But it starts with Mike and I. And that respect wasn't there, and I would say that we just started respecting each other.

Our precious daughter has a hard taking responsibility for her actions.  But I believe that is because she was taking the blame for everything that was going wrong in the house. Then, if she had to add her wrongs too....she would overload. And when Mike and I started "owning our sh$!" she didn't know where she stood in the family. So she felt lost and un-needed, or worse unwanted. And that just breaks my heart knowing that a person that I love so much would ever feel that way.

The TRUTH is, she is a child of God. And she is Flawless no matter how "dirty" she may feel. She is only responsible for herself. When we pray to God we don't ask God to forgive someone else's sins! NO! We ask God to forgive us for our own sins. You are only responsible for yourself, your actions, and your words. Angry is not a great place to get stuck, but we choose to stay there. If we can choose that then can we choose to be happy? I think so!


I would like to thank Mike for leading our family through this tough time. I have thanked him and told him so many times how proud I am of him. You are a true Godly man and one of those rare strong family leader!  I'm truly blessed that God led you to me. I love watching you minister to others and to me. When we pray together I feel indivisible, which I know we are. I will love you forever ever and always.