I'm a Christian! I'm supposed to always be Happy!

Do you ever feel like God has just left you? Like you are on this miserable earth, struggling all by yourself? You thought that since you're  a Christian you shouldn't feel like that. Well I hate to tell you this, but you are. You're not immune to these feelings just because you have accepted Jesus into your heart. If anything the devil is going to attack you even more. But the key is, how are you going to handle these attacks being a Christian!

It is a scary thing to think the stronger my relationship is with God the more the devil is going to attack me?!? Why in the world would anyone want to follow a God that you KNOW you're going to go through some really hard times for here on earth? I can reassure you it is worth it!

Here's an example; The devil will put problems in a marriage if the couple has a strong relationship together with God. The devil knows how to manipulate your "feelings". And how to mix "feelings" with the "truth" for a negative result...if you let him. All this confusion going on in your mind it can cause all sorts of bad decisions.

But here is a way to think about this. First, it's kind of nice that the devil thinks he's loosing you and has to try to make you question God. I know that sounds so backwards, but think about it. That means you're getting closer to God. Which means you know how to handle these situations. So all these attacks are a "walk in the park" haha.

Second, Each attack teaches you how to be compassionate towards some others.  No one goes through a hard time without learning from it. You'll be able to listen to someone's story and have a true yearning to help. This compassion you have comes from God (because you have asked for it).

The devil can't attack you with the same thing. So maybe one time it will be an illness, say cancer. You give this cancer to God.  By asking God to do whatever He wants, God heals you. The devil lost! Since you survived cancer you are able to minister to people about the healing power of God. The devil has to attack you again. Maybe now it's a car accident by a drunk driver. Resulting in a death of a loved one of yours. But again, you rely on God for healing. The devil looses again!

You can put that feelings vs. truth scenario in any situation.
Our emotional life is only truth and feelings,
Ask for God's help to sort them out
The truth is the only way to get peace.

A Mechanics Heart

Last night we found out that we might have been taken by this mechanic. He replaced my daughter's transmission in her car when it didn't need to be.

The problem with my daughter's car ended up being because my husband drilled through a wire while putting on her front bumper. But Mike didn't put 2 + 2 together. So instead he replaced the engine...twice, switched the computer in it 4 times, and spent countless hours rewiring that stupid car.

After doing this for a month he finally gave up and took it to this guy who rebuilt the transmission that didn't need rebuilding. And after that was done the mechanic calls us to let us know about that stupid screw! So now we are going to be out thousands of dollars.

I'm not going to lie, I was freaking out! Plus I was sort of mad at Mike. I think any normal person would be. It was careless work on his part. But then who am I to be like that? Have I never made a mistake? Am I really qualified to judge him? The answer to those questions are; yes I have made many mistakes and no I'm not qualified to judge him. Just like he's not qualified to judge me.

We decided this was too big of a deal for us to handle on our own. We needed to give this whole dilemma to God. I personally don't want to worry about it. I have better things to do with my time. We prayed that God will help with this situation financially, that God will convict that mechanics heart to do the right thing, and that we have grace.

I'll let you all know how God won in the end. Because God always wins. 

Once a Cheater Always a Cheater!

Taking responsibility for something that you have done wrong has to be one of the hardest things to do. Especially if that thing that went wrong has to do with a loved one. You know what I'm talking about, the kind of wrong that you REALLY REALLY REALLY MESSED UP WITH. I'm talking about if you have some how hurt your spouse or significant loved one. It can be a hurt that is physical, emotional, or verbal but it's something that you just can't take back...it is done. And your loved one is hurt. So now not only have you mess up but you are caught, it can be cheating, or you may want to take the words back if it was verbal, or you may want the bruises to go away if it was physical! But they don't because the damage has been done. What do you do now? I have no idea!

I'm going to write about cheating, because this recently has happened to me. I love my husband so much, probably too much. I was young when we met and he is older than me by 6 years. Recently he has been "helping" these women he works with at their homes. The first woman, we will call her Michelle, was going through a divorce and needed her house fixed up. So my husband fixed up her house, her car, and who know what else. Finally, I caught on and called him out on it and it was probably the worst time of my life. I lost that innocence of trusting him and he was caught. I could feel my heart being ripped out of my chest. But we worked it out. Can you believe it? With a lot of prayer and forgiveness we decided to move forward with our relationship.

Now 14 months later it's happening all over again. My husband has found another "woman in need". I say I don't know what is wrong with me, and I get corrected with he is the one with the problem. But I don't feel that way. He blames it on not having enough money and having to find side jobs. But all these side jobs just happen to be with single or soon to be single women! Yeah, I'm not buying it anymore. Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me!!!

The way that God fits into this is He doesn't believe in stepping out on your marriage. God doesn't want you to chase money. He wants you to chase Him and lost souls.  God says,
       Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

You see Mike can't love me because he loves money. That was the one thing that I thought I could change about him when I married him. But you can't change people. And now I'm left with this dilemma.

Please pray for me and I will be praying for you. Please don't chase money and material things. That stuff will come and go. Please pray for your soul and the souls around you. Thank you for reading my Blog I do hope you are getting something out of it. God Bless!

Mourning is About You...

Mourning a loved one has to be the hardest thing in life to do. I don't think there is anything harder than to think that you're never going to see that person on earth again. Of course, if you were both Christians you are going to see each other in Heaven. But I'm not going to talk about Heaven today. I'm going to talk about mourning and to give you an insight on making it easy. Mourning is for us. It is an action that's all about us.

There is a way to mourn that will give you the most difficult and horrible life ever. Then there is the way that God intended. Here on earth you mourn "things", "actions", or "catchy phrases" the loved one would say. You see, it was about what YOU remembered. We think how sad WE are. We know they are in a good place, but WE miss them. You see, mourning is about us. And that is not the way God or the person whom has past wants it to be.

The truth of it is, you choose to continue to remember your loved one with a sad memory. It's because that is the last memory you have of them. But that is not what they want you to remember. Your loved one wants you to be happy, so when you think of them they don't want you to think of death. They want you to think of a fun memory and laugh. And when you laugh know they are there with you.

Part of living depressed is a habit, part of it is a guilt. The guilt comes from feeling that you are not allowed to have a good time because your loved one it dead. First off, put yourself in the one love's shoes for a moment. That person is up with God! Do you really think they want you to be sad for them? When they are in the best place ever? They really don't want you to cry. Habit because it's easy to be sad. Sometimes it is a choice to be happy and some people choose to be emotionally lazy.

So next time you think of that  loved one try to remember a funny memory and laugh. And know they are with you. Then thank the Lord. In Jesus's Name, Amen

Why Would I????

I was thinking about what other things in my own life about God made it hard for me to follow Him. I was surfing Facebook and I saw that a Facebook friend from High School had a friend of hers die the other day. Of course I had to creep and find out how she died because she was close to my age, and I'm nosy.

She fought a 4 year battle with breast cancer and finally the cancer won. I looked at her pictures and I looked at her beautiful children. I looked all the way at pictures of her before the cancer hit and boy was she ever pretty. I then looked up her husband. I wanted to see what he had to say about his wife. I wanted to see if he said anything on his Facebook page about her passing away.

He did write about his wife and then something CRAZY! He did write about much he loved his wife...blah blah blah...that was sweet. Then he wrote how they are going to do something like keep her at home to see if her soul goes up to Heaven. If it doesn't, well then they know she really wasn't saved.  I couldn't believe what I was reading.  They are going to mourn her in one month time. This is what  he said in so many words.

I found out that he is the "founder" of this crazy religion. (Now remember what I told you all about religion? Religion is man-made and Christianity is Christ-made. They are two totally different things.)

So I had to look into this "religion" more. I found out that it doesn't teach anything about the Bible. In fact, it teaches the complete opposite. He teaches that everyone is "good" and if you are "nice" then you will go to Heaven. He taught that you don't need God to rely on in life because you have yourself. And all this other stuff totally against God.

You see that kind of stuff scares me. I know that man is speaking directly against God. I know that's a big deal! It's Blasphemy! He's leading a lot of people away from God. You have to be careful with people like that. I don't want to try to get through this life on earth by myself. Why would I? I have been through some real horrible situations and the only reason I got through them was because I called out for God's help.

Think back to an event that you survived. It can be big or small. It can be how you were able to buy groceries one week without knowing how you were going to get the funds. But somehow you did. That my friend is God. It could be that time you didn't have your homework done and you prayed to God for the teacher not to call on you and she didn't. That is God and an answered prayer. Or it could be a horrible accident you lived through and God sent for  an angel to wrap their wings around you to protect you.  But if you talk against God, He won't hear you anymore. I don't want that for myself or anyone else.

GOD DID!

This next post might make some of you very upset. But God has put it upon my heart to write this. It's about sin. And I know how you all feel about this word. It is such a convicting word. But this is about being a quiet victim and sin.

There are times in our young lives when something offensive happens to us. I'm talking about young like when you can first start to remember things. Or should I say when you choose to remember things. But there is a time when you have been mistreated almost to the word of abuse by someone and chose not to tell anyone. Or if you did that is a whole other story.  I can only speak for the ones that didn't tell because I am one.

I was sexually abused one time when I was around 3 years old and chose not to tell anyone out of fear. That was a sin a had to carry for 42 years. People are going to think why is it my sin because I was the victim. But you see by me not telling I was giving into fear, which is from the Devil, that action was a sin. That was the fear I had to carry which turned into more fear, which is all just more sin. Fear = Sin, Sin = Fear

By me not telling anyone I allowed the Devil to win. By me not telling I allowed that person to continue on with his abuse. Which in turn was probably many more little girls. I wasn't able to love myself the way God had intended. I wasn't able to allow people to love me correctly. And because of that I allowed some very bad boys in my life. I believed I wasn't worthy of anything better.

God one day showed me this abuse because I put it out of my memory. I had to relive it. I feel so bad for my little 3 year old. That poor little girl was so scared and in so much physical pain. God helped me understand that I needed to ask Him for forgiveness for carrying that with me. For not surrendering that situation over to Him. I asked God to forgive all who participated for they didn't know that night was going to affect me my whole life. They were just thinking of the here and now.

And you know what, I truly meant this prayer. I didn't want this memory anymore. I want God to carry it from me. God Did! I don't need any psycho therapy or anything like that. Which is really amazing because usually people need that. I know in the past I would have. God took it from me and I'm healed! I'm truly healed. I don't want to go back to the way I used to feel with that sin, (and many more) so I ask God daily to forgive me and show me anything I need to ask for forgiveness for.

How Cool Is That!!!

I don't know about you but I know that I when I listen to some of these TV preachers I either get a canker soar from them being too sweet about God or a sour face because they are yelling at me about God. There is one on TV that always smiles while he preaches about God in this almost whispery kind of voice. And he has a huge following. That is because he only says good about God. This preacher is never convicting in what he has to say about God. This preacher is a joke.

But then there is a man on TV, a large fellow, and he is always yelling in this stern voice. When I listen to him I feel like I'm in the principal's office. And then there is the woman on the TV with the "Joker's" mouth. She has lots of good things to say. But the problem is hearing it on a daily basis is rough. Hearing how you have to constantly change your ways and how I'm living my life wrong is very discouraging.

Here is the thing, if we could combine all these preachers into one that would make for one great church. You feel me? I would like to give you a little insight on how easy it is to live for God. 

You know when you do something wrong and you apologize to that person? Well, you need to do that same thing with God. Just ask God for forgiveness. But in our lives we have to do that a lot more often. I'm talking about the way we think, the way we speak, the way we behave honestly needs to have a conscious effort to be for God. The word Christianity means little Christ. We are little Jesus's. How cool is that!!! So this is a habit, that's all it is. 

A habit like stop smoking, like stop sucking your thumb, like remembering to brush your teeth and to shower. So when you do something that you know is against God just say, "God please forgive me. In Jesus's Name, Amen". And it's done. He forgives you like that. How cool is that!!! No need to beg for forgiveness! Nothing like that! You ask and He gives it to you. That is how great our God is!  

The more you do this the more your actions and behaviors will become aware to you. It will become second nature to you to live for God and people will see the change in you. Just try this for 21 days and see what happens to you. I know you won't want to go back to the old you.

God Made Easy

I don't understand why some Religious leaders have to make God so hard. My first point, Religion is man made, Christianity is Christ made. They make it almost impossible to live a day to day Christian life and have any thought of your own without thinking it's a sin. That is not at all what God is. And it's my goal to make God understandable by a middle class, sinful, mother, and humbled wife that loves her Lord just as much as she loves her husband. If I can understand the gifts that God gives us then you can too.

I think there's some verbiage from God that "offends" people. We are combative beings by nature. Always wanting things we can't have or more of something. And wanting to be first. We are combative people that are competing against each other constantly. Are we always wanting to be like "Adam"? The first one on earth? I don't know, maybe that is reading too much into the Bible.

But we get in that competitive nature when we think about "How dare God declare He be the only God!" and "That we worship only Him?" We are rebellious by nature also. Look at how Eve rebelled against God and Adam with the apple. Maybe it isn't us being rebellious at all. Maybe it is us standing up for something that you think is important.  Be it good or bad.

But are men only rebellious because of women? Did women introduce men to "rebellion"? If women were never created by God would there still be peace on earth? whooooaaaa.... too deep.

My point is, we as human beings rebelled and competed against God. Sin was introduced with Adam and Eve. God knows that we are sinners and not perfect. God only put Jesus down on earth as a perfect person. But we are all children of God's just like Jesus if we declare that God sent Jesus down to earth to die for us.

During all those times in the Old Testament when they talk about the sacrifices to God over and over again. They would talk about rams, cows, and goats being blood sacrifices. Well this time when Jesus died,  God was the one doing the sacrificing for us.

Like how Abraham took Isaac to the top of the hill to be sacrificed because told him to. And just when Abraham was going to kill Isaac, just as Abraham raised that blade getting his strength and will power up to kill his only son....God said, "NO! STOP!" God told Abraham what a great job he did and how he his new name is now Abraham (his old name was Abram), God gave him all of what is now Israel and some, Abraham and his wife Sarah ended up having all these kids (and Sarah and Abraham were not young at all). 

God put Jesus on the cross and Jesus had to die so we could have a relationship directly with God.
Jesus had to suffer in place of us.
 * That means the "suffering" He had would be one of your sins. So say you got an abortion. (I don't      care what side of the fence you are on, it is a sin legal or not) and say you don't ask Jesus for  forgiveness for that abortion.  And you just go about your life. One of those whippings or punches to  His jaw will be because of you. I hope that helps clear up the action and meaning of "suffering".*

That is why He was tortured.  The whippings and beating Jesus was inflicted with,...they were our sins.

Do I Offend?

Why do people get offended when you bring up God to them? I don't get it! People don't get offended when we talk about a top local news stories. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? I can talk to someone about the Kardashian's and most would get all up in that conversation. But if I were to bring up God and what He has done in my life...those same people would be like, "Oh NO! I  don't want to hear it." or "That's good for you." or "God? God Who?" or worse, "Who is your God?" Like there is actually more than one God!

I hate to tell you all this but there is only one (1) God. That's it! No more than that. We have made more Gods ourselves, like Buddha, Allah, and so on but those Gods were made up by us. They never created the earth and the planets. They didn't create anything, that is why if you follow one of those "man-made" gods you never find that inner peace you are searching for. The only way to find that peace that we are all yearning for is with the one true God...Jesus Christ...The Holy Spirit...The Trinity

You see God is where you will find true solitude. God loves you, He knows everything about you and STILL loves you! He knows you so well that He knows how many hairs are on your head, even if your are bald, He knew how many hairs used to be on your head. This is the kind of love that you are wanting from your spouse. The kind of love that you are constantly asking your significant loved one to give you.  I get that because I used to do that to my husband. I used to say things like, "why can't you show me affection?" "if you loved me you would hold my hand" I did that kind of stuff to him all the time.

But you see, my husband is just a person, and not a God. I had to get true acceptance from God first before I could love or be loved. Once I accepted God's love and truly understood what that meant, I was able to let Mike love me the way Mike wanted to, and not the way I was wanting him to. By me allowing God to love me first, it took the pressure of failure off of Mike.  It was the failure of not loving me correctly that I was putting on Mike. And in turn I am able to love Mike completely with all my heart.

Damaged Goods

Do you ever feel like no one can ever love you? Like you don't deserve to have anyone love you. You feel that way because you don't love yourself. Just that easy and just that sad.

At my old job all us "smokers" would gather around the "smokers circle" and smoke. And it was the day after Halloween and people were talking about what they did and what they dressed up as. And one girl said that she pinned trash on a jogging suit and went to a party as "damaged goods". And everyone laughed but I thought how sad. I even gave her one of those, "ooohhhh, how sad" sounds. But that was a perfect example of why we think we are unlovable. It's because we are "damaged goods"

But here is what I have found out, the damaged goods we have are really our sins! Now stay with me, because people hear that word sin and automatically are turned off. Because the word sin is such a damning thing.

Sins are the things we do wrong, whether we know it or not. Or even if we remember it or not. When we do these wrong things, and don't ask for forgiveness from God we carry that sin. The word "carry" doesn't mean like carrying a bag of groceries. It's more like a spot of dirt on a perfectly brilliant white shirt. You know where one little spec of dirt doesn't matter, so you don't clean it right away. Then you get another spec of dirt. And then another, and another. These specs of dirt are weightless but they are weighing down the beauty of the white shirt.

All you have to do is ask God for forgiveness. Jesus died on the cross so we could have direct contact with God. Before the curtain tore (when Jesus died on the cross) you had to go through the priests that were in where the arc was. and you had to make sacrifices. But you see God did the ultimate sacrifice by having Jesus die on the cross. That is the meaning of John 3:16. God gave us a sacrifice instead of us giving Him one. He gave us Jesus so we could talk with God directly. And in order to be with God forever in Heaven is to admit that God did this for us!

That's it! Why do people make this so difficult?!?! It's not! Just pray to God that Jesus was the Son of God. That Jesus died on the cross for our sins. That you are a sinner, but by the blood of Jesus I am a child of God. I invite Jesus into my heart. I declare Jesus the Lord of Lords! In Jesus's Name, Amen