A Story About Forgiveness, & Dirty Bathrooms

I was cleaning the bathroom today, and really enjoying doing it. And I honestly hate doing them. This is the one cleaning chore I hate. And I know it is important to Mike. Not important enough for him to clean it though. Only important enough for him to bitch at me about. You know, something more to pawn off on me about a flaw in him, a round about way. But I used to take on that fault, but that was hurting both us. The truth is we are both at fault the "bathroom" wasn't always clean all the time.

I know that clean bathrooms are important to Mike. But I have a hard time cleaning bathrooms. I hate it, just personal thing about it. Well, Mike took it as I didn't respect him by keeping them clean. But here's the deal, Mike was focusing on what was wrong with me. He thought I was too lazy to clean those bathrooms. And I was not cleaning them to get back at him. Just another dig in Mike's side in the already deep hole that I've put in there. We are both wrong by not talking these thoughts out. I'm sure our "bathroom" problem didn't start with each other.

The bathroom not getting  clean has nothing to do with us getting back at each other. It has to do with our own lifetime experiences we're bringing to the relationship. Me not cleaning the bathroom has everything to do with me and my experiences with "cleaning bathrooms". And Mike's wanting a clean and kept up "bathroom" has to do with good and bad experiences he was dealt growing up. But they didn't know that about each other. Because no one has ever taught them this until now.

I want Mike in more rooms than just the "bathroom" of my internal house. I want Mike to fill it up as much as the Holy Spirit is. I feel like I have closed so many doors in Mike's face that he might be afraid to open some. Or maybe my doors are not only locked, they are bolted, cemented, and wallpapered over.

I understand that I will have to let go of our past. What we did in our past is not who we are now. Even if the past is a month ago. I believe that if I let Mike into my "bathroom" then I will continue to enjoy cleaning my bathroom. By the grace of God's forgiveness for me, then I will, can, and choose to forgive my husband...I love you Mike.