When older men pick younger women they are trying to relive their own childhood through them. The men are able to live their youth again through the women. How lucky, he gets to be a kid twice. But he also gets to be that idol to that young girl. Therefore he can sculpt the women to become what they always wanted to be. But when the women become what the men urged them to be, they get angry at them. Becoming abusive in some way to those very young women they encouraged to get that college degree or job because he never did.
The men retaliate against those once "doe-eyed" young girls by cutting down their character. They will say the job the women have isn't that great or anyone can get a college degree. Some if not all will grow up and figured out whom they are and you are. That is when the tables turn and either 2 things can happen: 1. Divorce 2. Find God, and heal your marriage by the power of God.
But that "doe-eyed" girl is not to be blameless in this story. She is searching for this older man that will love her and think she is great. She feels comfort in the uncomfortable. The more off things are in her life the more at ease she feels. She wants the unbalance from an older man, not trusting people her own age because they have all hurt her. She wants to be taken care of. She always feels a rewarding feeling saying that she snagged an older man. There is a status in the world of women to marrying an older man.
These 2 get together because they both fulfill a need they have. She has a need of wanting to be treated kindly and gently by her older male figure in her life, she needs love and is needy with her husband. His need was to become that father figure for her, contort/control her to what you want for yourself, she does it or doesn't do it, then resent her. This is all subconscious. No one knows they do this, this is their "personality".
I think this might be my life. I know this all sounds horrible and selfish. But mixed in all of this turmoil there is a true love for one another. Most importantly, God is involved in our lives. Honestly, sometimes I think that's why we have so many struggles. I'm not going to lie to you. Our life has been hard. Of course God has been in it, but He has not always led it. We made our own choices and then asked for God's help as those choices failed. But God always helped us land on our feet.
But this time is different. We are putting God first, for everything. For example, I'm letting Mike be the leader of the household. I have to choose to trust him, and he has done great. I should have done this long ago. I've come to realize everyone's responsible for their own actions and their own responses. I know how incredibly blessed I am to be married to someone who wants to go to therapy, wants to heal himself (for his own self sake), wants to grow old with me, and has flaws just like me. I know that I have found my soulmate in Mike. I have a love for him that is comparable to my love for Jesus.
Mike and I have decided we are going to stay together and grow up...and then grow old.
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